Planning notes so you will know.

I read a post here 3 years ago about ATM machines being nefarious instruments of mind control. I thought it was shit but I'm starting to believe it. I am a well-adjusted, happy guy but every time I go to the bank I develop uncontrollable psychotic tendencies. Yesterday was going great until I took out $40 and ended up running home to disembowel my Yorkshire Terrier with a math compass. Terrified that the populace is becoming too educated and organized, banks and goverment agencies have conspired to develop brainwashing technology within the ATMs of the US. Ever wonder why the machines ask you so many questions? These are subliminal Neocon-inspired messages urging you to butcher your secretary when you get back to the office. The Powers That Be are determined that discord will continue to bubble under the surface of our society. Be very afraid!

Yeah, right. Next you'll be telling me that millions of kids around the world will be brainwashed into believeing that an invisible, omniscient being created and controls the universe!

The Vietnam war never happened! I was there and I don't remember any of it!

Why are the homeless people always watching me? I have a theory that they are actually cyborgs created by the goverment to police the city. Whenever I stumble out a massage parlor or emerge blinking into the midday sun from a crack den, I spot a wino out of the corner of my eye seemingly tracking my every move. Anyone agree?

I'm reliably informed that a recent invasion by robots was foiled by the invention of stairs.

Are you trying to be funny, Greg? You're messing with a man on the edge. I'll gut you and your family.

Dump your trash in the park. Recycling is another ploy to database our DNA. Trash men are paid to log our addresses.

Does that mean that if, say, for example, I was buying trowels, bleach and masking tape 9 times a week, the goverment would be able to track that via my grocery card?

Any time-travellers out there? Can I get Saturday's football score for the 49ers game?